Now, while there is freedom to act, I should always present a smiling face and cease to frown and grimace. The first to extend my hand in kindness, I shall be a friend to the whole world.

Shantideva, Bodhisattvacaryavatara

i. What does this mean to me?

When I first read this, I thought to myself, “cease to frown and grimace”, isn’t it unhealthy to go around pretending everything’s okay? But on further reading, I don’t think that’s what Shantideva meant. He doesn’t say “always present a smiling face” without first saying, “Now, while there is freedom to act…”.

For me, that gives a sense of urgency to what the writer is saying. Why would there not be freedom to act? Is the world ending? Is this some sort of apocalyptic hint of things to come? I don’t think so.

We live in samsara, a place where we are in constant fear and constant uncertainty. The sands are always shifting beneath our feet in samsara. I think Shantideva is saying do this now while you can because, whatever your situation in samsara, it’s going to change, and not for the better.

ii. How would I explain this to someone else?

What does Shantideva mean when he says he’ll “be a friend to the whole world”? Our local friendly AI tells us that ‘friend’ means “someone you know well and like, and who you regard with affection, trust and loyalty.” Shantideva is telling us he will be, “the first to extend my hand in kindness, I shall be a friend to the world.”

Here Shantideva is letting us know that he intends to regard the world with affection, trust and loyalty. How can he say that about the entire world? I think this goes back to two ways of thinking about samsara and our place in it. The first way of thinking is that, like putting a drop into an ocean, one single act changes the whole world. There is also the thought of interdependence. It’s impossible to do anything to anyone in samsara without adding to the whole, because we are interdependent upon one another.

Looked at this way, Shantideva is saying that while there are circumstances of life allowing us to do so, we should take advantage of that “freedom” to act by always presenting a smiling face. Does this mean we should pretend? No. But it does mean that when we are in a position to do so, we should always shift our focus to what is pleasant and share that with others. If we share a smile with just one person, we are putting a drop of kindness into the ocean of samsara.

iii. How do I bring this into my life?

This is an interesting one for me because in my mind it feels a little like a PollyAnna approach to life. But when I really pause to think about it, this is something we do all the time.

Don’t believe me? If a random person bumps into us while we’re on the street walking, what do we do? Do we slap their faces and pause to berate them for ruining our day? No. Of course not. The most likely thing to happen is that you’ll both say “excuse me” with a smile and then go on about your day.

Isnt’ this a small example of being a friend to the world? We say “excuse me” because we assume there was no maliciousness in what happened. Is this regarding those we encounter with affection, trust and loyalty? Not exactly, but if we stop and think about it, it comes pretty close.

When we literally bump into each other, there is no thought on our part of maliciously doing harm to the other person, and we assume the same about others. Is this the same as being a friend to the world? As I said earlier, it comes close. But this way of thinking is definitely extending a hand in kindness merely because we assume the other person meant no harm.

I bring this into my day to day life mostly at work. At work I talk with people whose loved ones’ medical diagnoses often includes “end of life” or “terminal” or “hospice care”. When I talk to these people, I approach them as a friend. Although I have to do business with them at an unpleasant, sad time in their lives, I inject as much humanity and compassion into the transaction as I can. Does this mean that I regard these people with affection, trust and loyalty? To a certain degree, within the limits of the interaction, yes it does.

We all have the capacity to do this if you’re reading this. If we have time to read (or do anything) for pleasure, then we have the capacity, like Shantideva, to be a friend to the world. We are at a place in our lives where we can extend a hand of friendship in kindness. Shouldn’t we seek out these opportunities and put as many drops as we can into the ocean of samsara?