I must cultivate the thought that death is certain;

I will die soon;

I don’t know when I am to die,

And nothing whatsoever will be of benefit then

From the moment of death onwards,

For interminable lifetimes,

Only the Dharma will benefit me

Right now, I must turn all my efforts to my practice.

i. What does this mean to me?

When I was a little girl, I used to absolutely adore amusement parks. The roller coaster was my ride of choice. Although I didn’t think about it that way back then, I loved flirting with death. That long climb to the top followed by the heart-stopping, scream-inducing plunge nearly straight down, thrilled me.

Now, as a woman of my age, getting on a rollercoaster is more like a fantasy than a thought that would rouse me to action. Why is that? These many decades later, I have the real thing. These days each day feels like a delicate dance with death. I no longer need maniacally speeding rollercoasters to flirt with death. My first step out of bed on a morning is sufficient.

With each step out of bed, I’m grateful to have woken up. This may seem like a morbid way to live. But on the contrary, it’s invigorating. I have no guarantee that my death will not come today. The only guarantee I have is this very moment. At this present moment, death has not come for me. Not yet.

When I read these verses, I am inspired to “…turn all my efforts to practice.” The writer reminds us that at the moment of death and “for interminable lifetimes”, the only thing that will be of benefit is the Dharma. Knowing this, and understanding that death is but a part of the flow of life, we must turn with all urgency to our practice.

ii. How would I explain to someone else?

A long time ago, my teacher, the Venerable Tashi Nyima asked us to do an exercise. The idea was to make lists that began with ‘If I had ten years to live, I would…’, ‘if I had five years to live, I would…’ and so on all the way to ‘If I had one day to live, I would…’. The next time we met, our teacher listened patiently to our plans. When we’d finished there was a moment of silence. Then he said, ‘all the lists should be exactly the same’.

Wow. I needed a moment to process that. I think we all did, because that silence was back. So let me get this straight, I thought to myself, ten years to live and one day to live should be the same? Yes, of course, I thought. What guarantee do we have that we will so much as take the next breath, let alone live the next years.

This teaching was decades ago, but it has stuck with me. Remembering it really helped me to understand when the writer says, “I must cultivate the thought that death is certain; I will die soon.” Notice the writer says “cultivate”, not ‘make friends with’ or ‘get to know’. I believe this word is being used deliberately. Our local friendly AI tells us that ‘cultivation’ means, “try to acquire or develop a . . . skill”.

What is the skill being developed here? As creatures of samsara, we are always getting caught up in the next shiny, brand-new thing. This constant chase leaves nearly no time to examine our thoughts or the state of our lives. How many times have we heard about a person who’s passed, “It was so sudden”. People driving to work, sipping a coffee, do not expect their return trip to be in a body bag.

The skill we want to acquire or ‘cultivate’ with thoughts of death is to realize beyond the intellectual that the condition we call ‘life’ is ephemeral and could at any moment end. The writer is very specific about the thought to be cultivated, it is, “death is certain; I will die soon.” If we cultivate this thought, it becomes a skillful means to focus our lives on what’s most important in this lifetime – the Dharma and practice. Once we embrace this, life can become a very liberating experience. No need to wonder what happens in the end. You die – that’s the ending of the story called life. And from that ending arises a new beginning.

iii. How do I bring this into my life?

I have Major Depressive Disorder. Among other things it means I take lots and lots of meds. In the past I’ve faced the specter of suicide many, many times. I say that to say this. I have an awareness that we live cheek and jowl with death day in and day out. At times that’s quite terrifying, but mostly it’s liberating. Living with death as a constant companion can make us grateful for every new morning, every new day, even every new breath.

At my job I deal with a lot of people who are caring for family members whose diagnoses include words like, “at home hospice”, “end of life”, or stage four anything. Although my actual job is to do business with these people who are caring for their loved ones, I take the time with every person to be as compassionate as I can be. Even with all I know, and all my training, I’m still fearful of death. I consider that the people I’m talking to have no training. Their only experience with death is fear and probably anger. At work, I make it my real business to move with compassion and empathy on each call. This is what the Dharma calls us to do.

Knowing and understanding this, and having cultivated a relationship with death, shouldn’t we help those drowning in the fears of samsara as much as we can?