Currently I’m studying Heart Treasure of the Enlightened Ones with a Dharma friend, Tashi Nyima.

We are currently working with Verse 62:

Clinging to mind’s perceptions as true is the delusion that causes samsara;

If you leave the mind in its natural state, free from thoughts, it is Chenrezi—

It is none other than the Sublime Unwinding in Ultimate Mind.

In ultimate mind, the Dharmakaya, recite the six syllable mantra.

Note: When Tashi talked about this verse, he talked about emotions as being a ‘call to action’. That really resonated with me. Yes, I thought. It’s that almost irresistible feeling that you have got to do something. I think of it as the force sucking you from an airplane when the cabin’s depressurized, and there’s this pull just sucking you along and you feel absolutely helpless to stop it.

Ramblings . . . March 24, 2015

I’d never thought of emotions as a ‘call to action’ before.

This morning in sitting practice, my emotions were all over the place. That’s pretty ‘normal’ these days. I’m not sure if it’s menopause or just age. Or maybe I’m becoming sensitized to what’s been there all along.

Anyway.

This morning I was really angsting over all the emotions coming up, and I was sort of desperately thinking. . . oh no, not another day like this.

And then, mind came up with something that turned out to be totally true. . . Just enjoy the ride.

This is a reference to a really, really old Pepsi commercial that Britney Spears did way back in the dark ages of 2001. Part of the catchy pop tune lyric is ‘just enjoy the ride’.

This morning those words meant nothing to me.

But today, at work, something happened that triggered a response of extremely afflicted emotions. Oh man… my fingers were flying across my keyboard. I was like a race horse coming to the finish line. I was just about to hit SEND, when it hit me. . . I’m caught. I. Am. Totally. Caught.

My mouse was hovering over SEND. My heart was galloping along. I was literally a second away from answering that call to action. And I thought. . . what do I do?

Then I breathed. . . and recited mantra.

I did that for three breaths, a total of six mantras. And I have to be honest, the first two breaths, I was thinking. . . oh man…this isn’t gonna work. It’s not. . .

Those three breaths seemed like an eternity. I completely experienced the anger, the resentment, the . . .whatever. But most importantly, I experienced it as something that was rising and falling like waves in an ocean and simultaneously, I experienced myself holding onto (clinging) to the emotions arising. I could see myself “clinging to mind’s perceptions as true”. I couldn’t stop clinging, but I could see that I was doing it.

Then suddenly my perspective shifted. For a split second (in those three breaths it seemed like forever), I experienced the emotions as undifferentiated energy. It was bliss! I could . . . just enjoy the ride.

After that, the emotions were very much in my face again, but the call to action had nowhere near the power I had imputed to it before I took those three breaths.

I opened my eyes (I often wonder what people think of me sitting there with my eyes closed), and I rewrote the email. Even better, the email resulted in the outcome I had actually wanted.

This sounds like a very small moment, but it was incredible. I think that’s because the emotions were so strong, and I was THIS close to blindly following that call to action.

Something similar happened yesterday, and I was able to catch myself again.

Wow. If this keeps up, I could actually begin to experience peace and clarity in my days at work!

These experiences have made me think of something I pulled from Tashi’s website, “Understand that pain is your spiritual friend, because it is the cause of renunciation.”

For sure. Absolutely. In these last couple of days I’ve really learned that renunciation isn’t the act of giving up any material thing. It’s the act of realizing the cause of your suffering and giving up that cause. If I hadn’t been suffering so much with those afflicted emotions, I wouldn’t have tried anything. I would have just gone on with my day.

So, there you have it . . . I ain’t there yet.

Let’s hear your thoughts. . .just between you and me. . .When your afflicted emotions are in your face and it’s all you can do not to throttle someone—and enjoy it . . . what do you do?

Hint: “Hide the body” isn’t the right answer. . .